Living from the inside out,not the outside in

After two weeks of going into work everyday while classes were not in session because of the holiday, classes start, once again, tommorow. I always feel a bit anxious because we basically go from 0 to 60 as soon as the day starts. For the most part students are wonderfully engaging. They can, though,be incredibly demanding and inscrutable. The noise level in the library raises appreciably as students come to the library for various reasons, not all of them for the pursuit of knowledge. In fact, the library serves some of the same purpose as a community center: students come to study,chat, check e-mail, attend class, hang out, keep warm (winter) get cool(summer)and, on occasion, actually look for a book just to read for pleasure! I always get so much satisfaction out of a kid that wants a book of fiction to read, and I must admit, I always feel a bit sorry for the student who is constantl partying, or hanging outside in huge groups, having a cigarette or with a cell phone plastered against the ear. Admittedly, I was such a different person at that age. I really needed a HUGE amount of quiet time with myself. I really needed to "hear myself think", needed to be able to put things down on paper, to get them out of my system so that I could get on with other things. I always like to ask my students on Friday afternoon how they plan to spend the weekend. Again, on Monday morning, I ask to see if maybe one of them realized that the reason their heads are always spinning,why they seem to feel a bit shattered or lonely is because they are constantly searching outside of themselves for something. I just want to say "slow down a bit," but of course they would just look at me and laugh.
I have one student who is so lively and vivacious and will someday set the world on fire because she wants so much out of life. Her social calendar could rival anyones, but she manages to write some lovely poetry, in between the clubbing , hanging out with her boyfriend and her seemingly hundreds of friends. One day I had walked away from the circulation desk for a few minutes. When I came back, L. was sitting behind the circ desk with a pad of paper . She was looking up and out of the window, deep in thought. Then she would hesitate and look down at the pad and write a few lines. I was watching a mind in thought , and witnessing someone who lives life allegro find the words to create images of beauty. I want to be able to say to her "That's it. Writing those words, creating those images will bring you so much joy in life. Keep writing, do that every , single day. Make something beautiful!" If, I did say that, she'd laugh. She'd more than laugh. She'd slap her thigh and say "It really ain't that deep, Miss Michelle!"
But, you know, it is. She just doesn't realize it now. But I do. Which is why my heart soars when a student comes in for something to read.
"Have anything, like, good to read?" I just smile. I sure do.