There is a certain kind of anger that I have never been able to understand. And anger mixed with insult is, in many ways,beyond my comprehension. Whenever you work in the public domain you are left vulnerable to a particularly vicious kind of abuse: one in which, basically, you must stand there with your teeth in your mouth while someone who is foaming at theirs has a verbal go at you. This happened to me today. Some people cannot imagine something like this happening in a library, but the "house of knowledge" is no exception. I hate to be yelled at. Seem obvious? If you are reading this you are saying to yourself "well, duh, no one likes to be yelled at." NO. You don't understand, I HATE to be yelled at. For me, it is like death. Ugh. And I hate not really being able to defend myself. Maybe that's the worst part. I spoke very patiently and in a quiet voice to this person. It didn't do any good. It seemed to fuel the anger that was already stoked. When it was over, I felt a bit shakey, a bit sick to my stomach . I just wanted to go home. There is a certain amount of civility missing in every day interactions and I don't know what it is, or why it is or even what to do about it. I can get easily irritated, that I admit, but it would take an incident of gargantuan proportions for me to hurl invectives at someone over something small. Although I could imagine doing it if it meant defending someone. It took a lot out of me and I dread seeing this person again.
But, alas, it will be the front lines again on Monday. Right now would be a good time to remind myself that 99% of the time my interactions with students and with the public is interesting, wonderful and gratifying in so many ways.
Bring on Monday.